Tuesday, January 13, 2009

And on the Seventh Day He Shall Rest...

Well it's almost game time... now, being a Philadelphia resident you might think I'm talking about next week when the Philadelphia Eagles take on the Arizona Cardinals for the NFC championship - which they will, in what also I think will ultimately turn out to be an all Pennsylvania Super Bowl 43. However, as much as I am looking forward to the Steelers being taken down due to other personal vendettas, I am of course talking about another game all together... The Presidency of the United States.
On January 20th, 2009 the clock officially starts ticking and everything from thereon is officially on Obama’s watch. For those of you paying any attention there are a few minor things the current president elect has vowed to tackle... Will he be able to? What bridges will he be forced to burn? How will the media whom remain in a state of utter euphoria handle the inevitable failures many of us are expecting? Regardless, we shall all be witness.

Below is a tiny list of things Obama has promised to take care of, I may have missed a thing or to so please don't be shy and feel free to remind me.

End poverty domestically
End poverty worldwide
Give housing to homeless vets
Give people more days off from work
Help people save more money
Increase the average family’s income
Cut taxes for 95% of families
Clean coal technology and other alternative fuel types
Build new roads
Provide a “royal class” education to every child
End independence of Middle East oil in 10 years
Make nuclear power safer
Retool the domestic auto industry
Make fuel-efficient cars cheaper
Get better teachers and pay them more
Send every American to college
Lower health care costs
Get women better pay
Increase sick leave policies
Expand personal bankruptcy protection
Capture Osama Bin Laden
End the war in Iraq
Protect Israel and Georgia
Defeat Al-Qaeda
Increase military spending
End nuclear proliferation
End genocide
End the spread of disease
Make the rest of the world love America
End political partisanship
Unite the country
Reduce unwanted pregnancies
Take guns away from criminals while giving them to hunters
End discrimination against gays
End the hiring of illegal immigrants
Change the culture of Washington
Put an end to the housing crisis
Reestablish order in the financial markets
Create millions of new jobs


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